I've been always worrying about my final draft. I know there are a lot of problems in it, but I just can't recognize them. But after visiting the writing centre, Ms. Swift pointed out that I have grammar mistakes all over the paper. I had trouble writing correct claudes, I should've used "which" or "who" in a few places instead of "that". Also, according to the instructions, I should use past tense for performance parts and present tense for analysis parts. I accidentally used present tense in some of my performance parts, because I was talking about the audience reaction, Ms. Swift pointed out that I still need to use past tense in order to make the sentence correct. There was one mistake that made me keep laughing: For two of the Capulet members, I used the term "underclass man", which means freshman and sophomore in schools. But soon I used the term "servants" instead.
Ms. Swift said that my paper doesn't have big problems in the idea, the body parts demonstrate my thesis well. The only thing I have to look over is my grammar, which I can do by myself. I realized that my grammar can be a huge trouble that can affect my future writing's quality. That's what I need to improve.
I found writing centre really helpful. In the future, I will go there every time when I feel uncertain or weird about my paper. But I still realized that the ideas can only be generated by me, Ms. Swift's job is just to correct my grammar and providing suggestions.
There's still a long time until the due day. When I looked over my paper again, there are several things that I need to improve other than the grammar problems. First of all, I need to cut off some unecessary points. For example, I mentioned "My performance used colorful costumes to distinguish the Capulet and Montague families." in my thesis statement. But I actually didn't talk about it a lot in the body paragraphs. Everything in thesis statement have to be important, so that sentence needs to be removed. Also, I have to be careful on analyzing the lines from the original play. I made a mistake on the line "O, she doth teach the torches to burn bright! It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night As a rich jewel in an Ethiop’s ear—Beauty too rich for use, for Earth too dear."(1.5 50-53). I said it shows his innocent characteristics but Romeo is just expressing his love to the lady. It wouldn't be a good example for his innocent personalities, but showing emotional and chameleonic sides.
In conclusion, there are still plenty of things that needed to be revised in my paper. Writing center helped me a lot, the suggestions gave me a chance to look at my paper in a different aspect. And after recognizing the mistakes, I got a chance to re-look at my entire paper, which helps me to have a deeper understanding in it.
No comments:
Post a Comment